I haven't been doing well at all recently.
I've been alone and isolated for the most part, sick inside of my fucking room.
My sleep schedule is beyond fucked to the point where I'm awake all night and sleep all day, and because of it I can't even talk to most of my online friends anymore.
I can't go out, and I can't do shit.
I've been trying to find something to cure the boredom but everything I turn to just reminds me of how fucking lonely I am.
The truth is, I've been thinking a lot about self-harm. I've been wanting to just die for a while now because of all of this. It's fucking painful, I'm sitting here in my room all day and all night, just wasting away. I wanna do something, I wanna be able to fucking interact with people. I want to be able to at least fucking go somewhere with my online career, maybe have just a couple of fans willing to chat with me and cheer me on. But even if I do have those, I can't even see because I'm asleep when they're awake and vice versa.
My throat is beyond fucked to the point where I can't even scream or anything, I can't even sob, so all I can do is cry in silence. Half of the time I'm living in a room filled to the brim with my own saliva and mucus, it's fucking disgusting. I've also lost a lot of close friends recently due to stuff unrelated to the sickness, all of them my fault. So many fucking plans have just been tossed away due to this.
I wanna write more, I wanna say more, but I can't even think of the words.
I guess one could say this is kinda my breaking point, the point where I just can't fucking stay silent anymore.
This is a sort of, I guess, desperate call for help.
I doubt little to anyone is reading this, but if you are, thank you.
To the small number of fans I have, thank you for sticking with me through my time here.
I just wanted to make people happy with music, as other have done for me.
I just wanna be able to spread all these dumb characters of mine into something, I wanna be able to spin them into something. Because at heart I'm a writer, I make dumb scenarios for funsies and write about how this character would interact with this or that and so on.
If there's one thing I can ask of you, it's to spread my word.
If you can't, or don't want to remember me for whatever reason and wish to move on, here's some people I consider cool and/or friends that I've been looking into recently, so check them out I guess.
@Skashi95 (forgot to add this name so I edited the post to add them, oops, they're very cool tho and you should check out their game little laughters)
Thank you.
-Sincerely, Winkwing
Formerly, ChibiWilli
Winkwing
Also forgot to mention @Skashi95 as one of the cool people you should check out.